And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
