I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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