wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
