Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Randomize
