wrigley field is MILF paradise
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
