Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
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