I think scott just propositioned me for sex
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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