Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
