absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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