grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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