I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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