You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
