a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
