I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
