I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
He did a backflip because drugs
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
