WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
