A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
