Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Text me some of your sweat
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