I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I think pants incapable of making pants work
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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