Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
