I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
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