You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
