All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
All the doctor said was why
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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