Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
