i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
