I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
