I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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