I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
