Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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