Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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