All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
