when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
