im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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