Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
