Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
You've changed since you got that strap on
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
