Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I puked a lego.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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