It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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