Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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