How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
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