dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
