I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
