"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
