you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
your like the ambassador to my penis.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
