Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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