i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
do nipples grow back?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
