She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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