I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
