My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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