The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
