I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
