that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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