i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
