That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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