if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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