I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
