hell yes lets make some ravioli
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
