I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Houston, we have a blender
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
