we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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