Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
