I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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